# Interracial dating issues

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And it continues with understanding that being able to talk about race in a conscientious way is an avenue to showing love toward your partner. Retrieved 1 June 2006.\
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Sarkar 1959 published a pedigree showing Tamil-Chinese-English crosses in a place located in the Nilgiris. Think about interracial dating issues partner as yourself for a moment. Cuba See also: 120,000 Cantonese coolies all males entered Cuba under xi for 80 years, most did not marry, but Hung Hui 1975 cites there was frequent sexual activity between black women and Cantonese coolies. According to the 2011 census, people who were cohabiting were more likely to be in an inter-ethnic relationship, than people who were married or in a glad partnership 12% vs 8%. In East Coast Berbice in an Adelphi estate a Madrasi woman was cohabiting with a Chinese man in 1871. So the bottom line is you are free to like what you like.

For decades, young Balinese men have taken advantage of the louche and laid-back atmosphere to find love and lucre from female tourists—Japanese, European and Australian for the most part—who by all accounts seem perfectly happy with the arrangement. Hong Kong University Press. The sentiment against Chinese men was due to and almost all Chinese immigrants in Mexico were men stealing employment and Mexican women from Mexican men who had gone off to fight in the Revolution or in World War I.\
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**5 Reasons Being In An Interracial Relationship Is Still Hard** - Overseers and planters on the plantations and sailors and doctors on board the ships transporting Indian coolie women would try to obtain sex from Indian women.\
&#x20;![interracial dating issues](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3100/2806481063_d0bf071163.jpg)\\

Dating interracially is one of the topics I have no issues talking about. Rather than focus on blogging about this fruitless subject, I began to think about why these are such hotbed topics to begin with. Why is it, on the heels of 2012, are we so fascinated with racial distinctiveness, yet not interested at all in what unites us? And what unites us…as human beings…is the longing to find a mate, and be fully accepted by them. With a divorce rate of well over , we all have a lot on our plate when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship. But still, interracial romantic relationships present a whole new set of challenges. Here are ten of them…and this list is far from being exhaustive. When you enter into an interracial relationship, you have to sit down, and make an honest assessment of yourself. Do you have the strength, courage, tenacity, and patience to deal with the issues that being in an interracial relationship poses? Can you deal with the criticism from your family? If you family is accepting, can you deal with the disdain from the public? What about your co-workers? In all honesty, some people deal with this splendidly. They do not care about what other people think about them and they are not deterred if no one or if only a few around them are doing what they are doing. But some people are just the opposite. And that is ok. But you have to know what type of person you are; you have to know what your social limitations are, before you can consider dating interracially. Without a doubt, the impact of family on your relationship has a lot to do with the emotional independence of the couple. Many people could simply care less about what their parents or family think about their life choices. But many people do. Thankfully, in my experience, most families are at least quietly tolerant of interracial relationships. But they may feel alienated and not connected to your significant other. If this is the case, take the high road and be polite, kind and thoughtful. But maintain that you should be respected. If there is any disrespect, then cut your losses. You are in a relationship with a person…not a family. Just make sure that your significant other is supporting you unabashedly when their family is in the wrong. If not, then it may be a warning sign. This one is tricky and multifaceted. On one hand, you have absolutely no control or influence over how strangers treat you. If you go out with your significant other, be prepared for at least one grossly ignorant comment shot your way at least once per month. I usually choose to ignore such people. However under no circumstances do I shrink away from my status. Shirking away from your lover in public is disrespectful on so many levels! This makes no sense, but many people still hold on to this. In a nutshell, just because someone chooses to date outside their race, does not mean that they hate themselves or others from their own community. From a personal perspective, I never saw interracial relationships as problematic…in spite of having grown up in a place and time where it was relatively rare although this is, thankfully, no longer the case. They had 7 children and only 2 of those 7 married other South Asians. The rest, including my grandmother, married and had children with Black Jamaican men. No one demonized my grandmother for this, because she was born and raised in a country where was Black. Here in the United States, yes, we are blessed to have a diverse society with large, vibrant communities of different cultures. The downside to that however is people grow to believe that in order to insure the survival of your culture or community, you have to marry only within that particular community. Now this is an interesting and surprising one. I no longer think this way by default. Well at the end of the day, no romantic relationship, interracial or not, is the same. People who imply this, usually have serious issues with my next pitfall. You see, do have some basis in fact. In addition, stereotypes must exist in that they are important in regards to social learning and the assessment of others. So what I really have an issue with is the improper application and use of stereotypes. If you are in an interracial relationship, you cannot discount the power of stereotypes. Even if you yourself do not put a lot of weight on them, others around you do. You have to accept this, and you also have to decide how much weight that you personally will place on these stereotypes perpetuated by others…whether they be true or untrue. For example, there is the stereotype out there that Asian women are submissive and obedient. Now an interracial couple that includes an Asian woman has a fight on their hands no matter what in this regard; because if the woman is not the submissive and obedient type, then they have to decide how much effort if any they are going to put into combating this stereotype. If the woman is in fact submissive and obedient by nature, then they are going to have to fight for the legitimacy of their relationship in that it means more to them than just a man trying to get a woman who will obey him. In addition, do not buy into disparaging stereotypical comments made about yourself or your relationship either. Interracial couples also have to examine the stereotypes that they hold between each other. Did you hook up with a Black man because of his sexual prowess? Are you dating Asian men because you want smart children? Both notions are incredibly foolish and dismissive of the deep and true qualities of romantic relationships. Which leads me to my next pitfall… 7 — Fetish vs. Yes, this is a very real and touchy issue. Well this type of attitude does not translate very well over into the romantic arena, and yet, many people approach their love life like shopping in a mall. When you are dating, it is especially important to determine how the other person sees you. A tell-tale sign of this is if the person is reluctant to bring you around family and friends; or only willing to see you under certain circumstances. But I also think it is fair to not confuse a fetish with genuine attraction. A White man who hangs up a picture of Pamela Anderson is not accused of having a fetish for buxom blondes. This goes for anyone. Acknowledging and loving the differences between us is not fetishism. We are not just souls floating around; we are a package of bodies and souls. So the bottom line is you are free to like what you like. You are an individual, so lust over your well-endowed Black man, or thin, golden-locked blonde bombshell. But at the end of the day, you cannot base an entire relationship on physical qualities. If you are in an interracial relationship for the first time, or your partner is, prepare yourself for a steep social learning curve. It can easily be overcome…if the two of you are open-minded and honest with yourselves. You also have to know when and when not to take things personally. Ignorance is not an excuse for insensitivity. Keep things in perspective. Think about your partner as yourself for a moment. How would you liked to be asked about your body…your heritage…and your customs? Make it a point to be sensitive…but also make it a point to learn. Even if you significant other is comfortable with an interracial relationship and has previous experience with one, you still are not off the hook. The truth is interracial dating may not be all the rage, but it is not rare either. Sometimes people just need to understand that you are not a trailblazer; that their own limited experience does not translate over into what society is really like. To me, love is love. You are blessed whenever you have someone to love you — no matter what their color may be! Beyond that, the rest is just commentary. However that is just me. Like I mentioned previously, you have no control on what others think or do; and most likely, many will assume that your choice to date interracially is the result of some sort of ulterior motive on your behalf. Only you, and hopefully your partner, know the true nature and motivation of your relationship. From there, do you best to live it out…both publicly and privately. But be forewarned, if you are dating interracially to make some sort of statement, then you are providing a disservice to your significant other and your relationship. So keep that in mind. Focus on the interior…on your life, and the home you are building with your mate; THEN worry about public perceptions. What do you want from a romantic relationship and how does dating interracially contribute to that? For example, you may love the excitement of having sex with a Black woman; but you would be uncomfortable fathering biracial children. You may have no problem dating non-Christian men, but ultimately, you want to get married in a church and raise Christian children. So you have to be realistic. What issues are you willing to compromise on and deal with in the long term? And the sooner you do this, the better. And when you know what you want, be sure to communicate that with your partner so that they can determine if the two of you want the same things. It goes without saying that I totally agree with Whoopi here; and that Sherri presents an example of some of the negative feelings that get projected out from the minority community.
